She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
