They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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