I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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