the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
