There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
