Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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