you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
