YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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