we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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