2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
