I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Four minutes until I can fart!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
