the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
