just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
