I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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