it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
