he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
