I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
