All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?