how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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