she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
