Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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