Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
