Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
