Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
