I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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