Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
