Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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