Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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