Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
