i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
