I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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