nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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