Porn is love you can see.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
