He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
