so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
