she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
