Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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