dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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