I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
