I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
