He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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