Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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