the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
