TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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