i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
