sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
