On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
