got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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