Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You have to summon your inner elephant
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
