You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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