If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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