not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
