I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
