so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh god it's open bar.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
