And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
