We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
