Jerry, you need to find god
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
