we have officially lost it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
