Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize