I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
