I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
