and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
