I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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