She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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