bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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